March 30: Mateo

I can't remember what day is since the quarantine started and to be honest that doesn't really matter anymore. The days and nights had lost their meaning now that everything feels the same but it doesn't at the same time. I don't sleep properly and I don't eat properly there are no schedules anymore, nothing to follow or control, there is no rules of how to do things anymore, now everything feels free too free that it feels wrong. School was the only place where I could go and be me but now that at in my house all day is just 24/7 of the me that my parents want to see and what's even worst is the me that I hate, I still have problems sleeping and that's why I try not to sleep often, just to keep myself awake is easy but what comes when I'm awake is the hard part. Music has been keeping entertained the most when things get messy at my house and to avoid reality I draw and turn the volume up in my headphones as loud as I can so my thoughts would go away and I could flow with the music as I draw. Video games turned boring, I feel like as the time passes everything turns boring, but yeah sure I'm still good with the idea of spending months inside. At least I'm still dong exercise and while I keep moving my mind would never stop and so my thoughts can't catch it, can't say the same at night, that's why I don't like to sleep. (I still miss the Red Bulls i used to drink daily, although I know I don't need them)